Have you and your partner stopped communicating the way you used to and now find yourselves bickering or just not talking?
Do you feel that your partner doesn’t respect you?
Are you concerned about a lack of trust in your relationship, perhaps because of an infidelity or other breach?
Do you find yourself going to your family and friends for emotional support rather than talking to your partner?
Do you feel unloved and under-appreciated, as though the special spark that once existed between you has faded away?
Do you want to reconnect with your partner and feel the love and the passion you used to have?
If you and your partner are struggling to connect, you may feel hopeless, sad, and scared of losing your relationship. You might feel alone and lonely, even when you are together. Perhaps you are asking yourself if your partner really cares about you or if he or she would be there for you in a time of need.
Maybe you can’t remember the last time you both really connected or had fun together. You may barely talk to each other except about logistics about regarding the house, family, or kids. You might feel like you are two ships passing in the night.
Now, your dissatisfaction and unease may have started to affect your work. Perhaps you can’t concentrate or focus on what you need to do for your job or your family. If you have kids, you may be taking your stress out on them. And, that might makes you feel worse, because you are not the parent you want to be. Maybe you haven’t been able to enjoy your time with your kids because you are so preoccupied with what is going on in your relationship.
Many Couples Struggle at Some Point in Their Relationship
Relationships are hard work…
It’s normal for marriages and relationships to have their ups and downs. But if conflict or avoidance goes on for too long, it can cause more and more stress for both you and your family. It’s painful and difficult to realize that there is a wall between you and your partner. If you don’t connect the way you used to and feel lonely, you may be wondering if you have done something wrong. You are not alone in your doubt and worry.
At first, relationships are the easiest. You can talk about anything and feel so connected. It is hard to even imagine that things could ever change. You may have felt so happy and in love. But the honeymoon period wears off. Life – with all of its responsibilities and challenges – gets in the way, and keeping the love alive can be hard.
As time goes on, each partner sees that all is not so perfect. This is when you begin to notice the differences in each other. It is how you both view these differences and respond to them that can predict whether you will struggle or have a happy relationship. It is normal and quite common for relationships to have their ups and downs. Some conflict is normal. However, if the conflict goes on for too long and no matter how hard you try things just don’t get better, and then you may need to seek help.
Thankfully, there is a way to reconnect and reconcile these differences.
Couples Counseling Can Help You Reconnect
I am here to tell you that there is hope. Couples counseling can help you revisit your relationship goals and needs in order to help you hear each other again.
As an experienced couples counselor, I will help you strengthen your bond so you can get close again. In sessions, you will learn to better identify and react to the moments when you hurt each other. You and your partner will see how you either try to deal with the conflict by fighting and arguing or by shutting down and withdrawing. Most likely, you react the way you do to protect your relationship and yourself the best way you know how.
However, this is both modes are harmful because you end up turning away from your partner instead of turning towards and connecting with him or her.
During couples counseling, I will show you how to express your feelings and needs in a way so that your partner can hear you and meet your needs. This will can bring you closer and allow you both to foster so that you will feel the love and trust again.
Regardless of how long you have been struggling in your relationship and how hurt and frustrated you are feeling, with marriage and couples counseling, there is always hope.
My approach is a powerful method called Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, which has been proven to be 70% successful in helping couples strengthen their bond and get close again.
Imagine how it would feel to connect to your partner again, to feel that you can reach for each other in happy times and comfort each other during the hard times, and how good it will feel to have fun and enjoy each other again. Couples counseling can help you and your partner get there.
Although you may feel that couples counseling can help you communicate with your partner, you may still have questions or concerns…
As a therapist, are you going to tell us what to do?
I am here to guide you and help you sort out your thoughts and feelings so that you and your partner can make decisions in ways that will make you feel better. I won’t tell you what to do, but I will support you as you explore your options. I will guide and teach you how to listen to each other and hear each other in new ways so that both of your needs are met.
You wonder if going to couples counseling would be throwing good money a way? Won’t I be throwing money away on couples counseling?
If things don’t get better in your relationship, then conflicts and disconnection can eventually lead to divorce or breaking up. Separation is often way more costly than therapy will be. This is an investment in the future of your relationship and your family. While I can’t promise or guarantee that things will improve, you will be doing everything you can to make your relationship better.
What if you think that I am the crazy one or the one to blame for our relationship problems?
I am not here to place the blame on either one of you. As I see it, the problem is the relationship pattern or negative dance that you both get stuck in when you can’t resolve your issues. That is the problem – your negative patterns or dance, as we call it in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT).
You deserve love and you deserve to be loved and in a happy and comforting relationship.
Couples Counseling can help you turn your relationship around in only a few sessions.
Research shows that it does work, and I want to hear your story.
I invite you to call me at 561-542-2466 (number) for a free 15– minute phone consultation.