5 Signs You are Emotionally Disconnected from Your Partner
1. Stuck in the Daily Grind
You only talk about logistics and your daily schedule. For example, who will pick up the kids from school or their activities? When will you be home for dinner? It may feel like you are living parallel lives or just roommates. I hear this often from the couples I work with in my office. There is no real emotional connection, and it is a very lonely way to be.
2. No Emotional Trust or Support
You go to your friends or family for emotional support rather than your spouse. When you have a problem or it could even be good news, your first call is to your friends or your close family members. You may not even think to call your spouse either, because you know you won’t get a reaction from him or her or you don’t feel like sharing it with them.
3. Don’t Spend Down Time Together
You and your mate don’t spend time watching television together or hanging out together at night. You may be on one side of the house and he may be on the other after the kids go to bed. Or worse, you may be sleeping in separate beds. This does not allow for any connection to happen if you are on separate sides of the house. It also leaves partners feeling sad, alone and hurt.
4. Sex is not Happening
Sex is not happening in your relationship. It is either very infrequently or you haven’t been intimate with your spouse in months or even years. This is usually part of the problem because great emotional connection leads to great sex, so if you aren’t emotionally connected chances are you aren’t having great sex either.
5. No Time to Talk
You find no time to talk to each other. You may tell yourself that you both are so busy with work and taking care of the kids that you just don’t have the time to talk. You are both exhausted and don’t have the energy to talk with your partner. Although it is true, that you are exhausted and have no energy, you may be avoiding talking with your mate, because you don’t know where to start or you don’t want to be a burden on them and ask them to do another thing when they are tired already. However, emotionally connected partners are tired and exhausted as well, and they recognize the importance of regular communication and contact with their spouse. They make that extra effort to talk together even if it is only 10 or 15 minutes. It shows your partner that you care, that they are important to you and you want to know what goes on in their world.
If you identify 3 or more signs that are present in your relationship, ask yourself how long has this been going on between you? If it has been awhile, and you are feeling sad and lonely, please talk to your spouse about it. Don’t be afraid to bring it up. It can only get worse over time. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that it will get better on its own. That is not true. You and your partner need to work on this together. If you talk about it, it can help you both figure out how you can work on it.
You may see that talking about it doesn’t help. It may make you feel worse if you talk about it and you see that you or your partner or both of you aren’t able to make things better on your own. If this is the case, there is still hope! Talk to your partner about going to marriage counseling. Tell them how important your marriage is to you and you want things to get better because you both deserve to feel loved, to be happy and to be in a relationship that is emotionally connected!
If you connected with this article and think you could benefit from even just contacting me to see if counseling is a could idea for you or both of you call me at 561-203-9280 or email me here.